Respond, don’t react

Humans are nothing but glorified monkeys, or so we know till date from evolutionary theories.

And if we look at monkeys or any other animals for that matter, the general tendency is to instantly react to anything and everything in surroundings. This has helped the species preserve themselves for thousands of years. E.g. if there is a sound in the bushes you better run for your life, it maybe a snake or some other predator. Worst case if this was a false alarm, you would just lose some effort, but if you don’t run and it turns out to be real predator, you are done.

So this instant reaction system has evolved over years to preserve us from dying due to environmental threats.

Comes the modern world, where such threats are very rare. If your boss is scolding you, chances are you won’t lose your life. Unless you are a drug dealer off course and missed your target for quarter.

However the wiring that has evolved over all these years is such we can’t help but react. Everything that is coming against us or even if not really against us, we label as threat and react, without even caring whether it is a threat or not.

Whether it is a feedback from boss, an argument with spouse, scolding from parents or a friend calling your wrong doing, we treat all of these as threat. Not in physical sense but more so in psychological sense. It hurts our identity or ego and we tend to react often to worsen the situation.

This is where we need to evolve and take a step back, there is no need to treat everything as threat. Take your time, go back, let the situation absorb in your body and mind and then respond.

All the emotions we feel as humans are so unique and valuable, however we aren’t justifying this blessing with these animalistic reactions to these feelings. Let’s be real human by being aware and responding to situations, events and circumstances, not react like monkeys.

Having said that, a response doesn’t have to be different than reaction. If the situation calls for it, feel free and have same response as you might have reacted. Why same, maybe even stronger one. If your partner has misbehaved with you and it was unreasonable, maybe it is time to have the response as a breakup, why just react with strong words.

So let the waves in your mind and body settle a bit. Respond, don’t react, but be aware they won’t have to be different always.